Like An Egg In Bubble Wrap
by Nuttyginger
Summary: What would have happened when Cordelia came home and found Angel in the shadows. (Conners still around!). Reworked!!!
1. Excpectations

I've kinda reworked it cos it was bad and i didn't like it much either!!!  
  
Disclaimer: Guess what, I ain't making any money, and they ain't mine. Sorted!  
Pairing - C/A  
  
Summary: What would have happened when Cordelia came home and found Angel in the shadows. (Conners still around!)  
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Like An Egg In Bubble Wrap  
  
Part 1 - Expectations  
  
  
The front of the hotel was a welcome site. She had only been away for two weeks but to her it had seemed like a decade. She didn't care what they would think of her for not bringing Groo home with her, not that they would think badly of her, what mattered to her was that her family were behind the heavy Oak door. It shifted easily under her touch. She took in a deep breath expecting to smell freshly made coffee from Fred and The titter of Wesley and Gunn arguing over axe sizes.   
  
"Hey guys I'm home and I bring presents." She expected Gunn to run up to her and scoop in his arms calling her 'Barbie' and Wesley to snap shut a tome he was reading to walk slowly to towards her smiling warmly, Fred would hang cautiously in the background but smiling still. Angel would still be in bed. "Gunn? Fred? Wesley? Angel?!" Cordelia shouted again, more fear in her voice.  
  
She looked around her and sniffed the air for coffee. Instead there was a smell of musk. Dust lay on the reception desk, books coated in dust as if left in a hurry. Her delicate frame turned rapidly as she heard something move in the shadows. She could also hear the constant wail of Conner in the room above the staircase.  
  
"Angel?" The shadow shifted more. She felt her heart quicken. "Angel!" She shouted louder. She knew it was him, she could sense him. Conner let out a louder wail and the shadow shifted its back to the stairs. "Angel your son is crying for you!" She shouted, suddenly angry at him. "For God sake Angel, can't you hear him? He's enough to wake the living dead, which includes you! Where is Gunn, Fred, and Wesley?"   
  
Angel tossed papers in his hands and shook his head. "Cordelia? Gone, their all gone now. I told Fred and Gunn to go. Their all gone." Angel babbled incoherently.  
  
Cordelia stared in confusion at the Vampire emerged in the shadows for a few seconds to another loud cry from Conner distracted her attention. She spun on her black heeled boots and stormed off to the stairs, climbing them two at a time.  
  
Angel stayed statue still in the darkness as the cries hushed and Cordelia appeared back at the top of the stairs again with a blanket wrapped bundle in her arms. She moved gracefully down the stairs and stood in front of the still Angel that sat on a wooden chair.   
  
Cordelia gasped it his appearance, deheavaled and his stature defeated and crumpled. Her concerned was quickly replaced by anger again she looked down at Conner's face. She peeled back the blanket to full exposed Conner's face. It was red, his eyes swollen and still full of tears. She noticed that his baby grow was grubby, hands white where they gripped the blanket for dear life, scared someone would take away his warm cocoon.  
  
"He must have been crying for hours. Angel would you look at your son?" She pushed Conner closer to Angel, hoping he would take the babe in his arms. Instead Angel shied further away. Cordelia let out a huff in frustration and to fill the silent void between them. "Angel what is wrong with you? What happened with Gunn and Fred? And *where* is Wes?" Cordelia shouted in a firm voice but still trying to calm Conner.  
  
"Wesley," He spat. "Betrayed us. Justine tried to kill him. *Wes* is in the country general hospital, hopefully dying slowly and painfully. He was going to give Conner to Holtz. Holtz tried to take away my son because I had killed his family when I was Angelus. People are still at risk from my past. Conner nearly died because of Angelus, because of me."  
  
"*You* *are* *not* *Angelus*. You are Angel. I don't understand. Wesley was our family, Conner's uncle. He would never betray us." Cordelia sank into a nearby couch. She noticed for the fist time that Wesley's office had been torched from the inside. The blackened desk barely stood while the chair was now ash. The only thing recognisable was the filing cabinet in the corner but even that was blacked. "Where is Gunn and Fred then. They didn't take Wesleys side did they?" Cordelia asked fearful that even more family members had betrayed her.  
  
"We were rescuing Conner. Holtz wanted to take Conner through some Hell portal but we got him back. His minions and Gunns gang tried to fight back. I was trying to get Conner to safety, I couldn't stop them, I promise I tried." Angel turned around and Cordelia realised why he has hid in the shadows. His face was as red as Conner's was, only his tears were blood red and dried into his face, only to be replaced by fresh ones now. "Fred had been training with Gunn just before you left, she thought she could take on more than she could and... there was nothing they could do...I tried to stop her..." Angel looked up at Cordelia with pleading eyes. "She died, right there in Gunns arms. I tried to save her but the blood was everywhere."  
  
Cordelia used her spare hand to cover her mouth as her won tears began to fall over her cheeks. She cried to the girl that had become her friend, her best female companion and a part of their growing family. It wasn't right. She didn't want to ask but she had to know. "Where is Gunn?"  
  
"He left, went to avenge Fred's death, gone after his Crew. He said something about going east. Might find him in New York one day. I tried to get him to stay but he said that we would be fine. We managed when Doyle died and it was just the two of us then." He rustled the papers in his hands again.  
  
"What is that?" Cordelia asked motioning to the papers and glancing at the now sleeping Conner.  
  
"Adoption papers!" Angel said in a monotone voice.  
  
"*What?!*" Cordelia exclaimed. "You can't give Conner up Angel. He's gonna be your only son. You really think that he would be better off being brought up by strangers than his own father?" Cordelia shouted but then lowered her voice so that she wouldn't wake Conner.  
  
"I don't want Conner to go to strangers I want him to stay with at least one parent." Angel said moving closer to the light but staying away from his love and his child.  
  
"Angel, you are his only other parent. In case you've forgot, Darla is dead and after what happened last time I don't think raising her AGAIN would be a great idea."  
  
"Darla is Conner's mother by blood and blood only. You have been his mother since the day he was born. You cared for him, stayed up with him when he was sick. You know every mole on his body, when and what he likes to eat. You are his mother Cordelia. I am asking you to take Conner, somewhere far away from here. I don't want to know where. If I don't know where he is no one can hurt him. If he stays with me, I will just bring him harm like Holtz or any other demon that's decided to take revenge for the past."  
  
"Angel I..." Cordelia started.  
  
"If he stays with me, he is as good as dead. Maybe you and Groo will make better parents to him."  
  
Cordelia looked down at the bundle in her arms and frowned. "Groo and I spilt. I told him to find a way back to Pylea. I can't look after a baby Angel. I'm too selfish, irresponsible. Why do you think we have plastic flowers in here? I can't even look after real ones. You can't leave me Angel." Cordelia whispered.  
  
"I will never leave you and you'll never leave me but I have go, to protect Conner and to protect you."  
  
*And I thought what I felt was simple,  
And I thought that I don't belong,   
And now that I am leaving,   
Now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you.   
Yeah, I missed you.*  
  
  
"Angel please don't leave me again. You promised last time would be the last. I need you here. You all I have left." She began to cry even harder. "Please." Cordelia begged.  
  
"You'll have Conner. I know I promised but I can't risk Conner's life. I can't take care of him. Look how you found him. I can't do this anymore." He lay the papers out on one of the books that were on the couch and flicked a pen open. "I was waiting for you to get back. Just sign it Cordy, do it for Conner."  
  
Cordelia lifted her hand from her lap and gingerly picked up the pen. Her brain was screaming *NO!* but her heart told her what was right and for the first time ever, Cordelia followed her heart. She couldn't look at Angel or the contract as she scrawled her name on the paper so instead she looked at Conner and knew in her heart what was right.  
  
Angel rolled up the papers and walked back to the shadows. He pulled out two large hold alls and picked the up with ease. Cordelia stared at him dumb-founded. "You're leaving already. What about this place? What about Conner's stuff. ANGEL you can't just leave now."  
  
"I have to go." Angel placed a light kiss on a forehead. "Conner's trust fund is in the safe and this place is now yours but don't stay here. Sell it, let it out, blow it up for all I care about this Hellhole." He peeled back the covers and stroked his sons' cheek for the last time.  
  
Cordelia looked up to the balcony of the stairs at a rustling. When she turned back around Angel had left and she was all alone with Conner sleeping peacefully in her arms. Unaware of what the future held, unsure of just how to be a mother, Cordelia let the tears fall unchecked from her cheeks and then composed herself and headed up to Conner's nursery to pack some of his thing. As she looked at the bed where Angel slept Cordelia could feel his presence but knew he would never sleep in that bed again. The wardrobe opened and she ran her hand across the silk shirts. She inhaled his scent as it flew from what he had left. Cordelia knew Angel could survive on very little and clothes were the least of his worries. As she glanced at the bottom of the wardrobe Cordelia spotted an ornate wooden box on the shoe sheft. Cordelia had only seen it once before.   
  
It was sitting out on Angels bed when Buffy had died. He was looking at it with a soulful face, holding a piece of paper in his hand and stroking it! Cordelia had guessed it was a picture of Buffy. The box seemed some how sacred and she didn't want to unleash the memories in it, not just yet. Cordelia put the box in the suitcase that was now sitting on Angels bed. Conner was sleeping in his crib, his tears now dry, at least of a while. Her gaze shifted over to Angels bed side cabinet and she instinctivily picked up a picture of her and Angel standing outside in the courtyard, the stars shining down on them, looking perfectly happy. She held the picture close to her as she began to pick up Conner's cuddly toys from the floor and place them in a bag.  
  
  
*OK, a Four part series (I think) so fill in that little form at the bottom or wait til the end and tell me what you...em…think. Flames keep me warm so I don't mind! Now i bet your wondering what the hell happened to Gunn and Lindsay. And where the hell has Wesley gone? Stayed tuned to find out folks!!!* 


	2. Take It All Away

Chapter 2 - Take It All Away  
  
  
* All the blue light reflections that color my mind when I sleep   
And the lovesick rejections that accompany the company I keep   
All the razor perceptions that cut just a little too deep   
Hey I can bleed as well as anyone, but I need someone to help me sleep*  
  
Angel was angry...more than angry. It was 4 in the morning and someone was pounding heavily on his front door. The last thing Angel needed was to be woken up. He had to be at work at 9am and he didn't get to sleep until after 2. His thoughts were the main thing that kept him awake and had done for over 5 years. Thoughts of the beach, the one person he loved more than his life, the son he never had and.... The knocking continued and Angel growled...the knocking stopped. Angel grabbed the door knob and pulled back the handle. He wasn't expecting the cheeky, thinned face and platinum blonde hair.   
  
"Spike!" Angel growled dryly. "What do want?" Angel still standing in the doorway.  
  
"Is that anyway to speak to the Childe you gave life...the un-human one I mean. Now are you going to let me in? Oh yes this a Vampires house so I can come and go." With that Spike pushed past Angel and stood just behind him.  
  
Angel turned with such speed and strength, Spike was powerless to stop him as Angel grabbed Spike by the throat and slammed him into the wall.  
  
"What ya."  
  
"Lets try that again Spike. *Why are you here?*" Angel held him above the ground.  
  
"Relax Peaches. The Slayer sent me. Watcher Guy and the Redhead have found a prophecy they thought you might be interested in."  
  
Angel dropped Spike abruptly to his feet and turned away, bowing his head. "I don't do that stuff anymore."  
  
Spike circled Spike looking smug. "That's right. Your still the bloody poof but you're a poof with an proper job. God, you're pitiful. What do you again?"  
  
"I work in an office in Chicago city, I advise on history for TV programmes and films. I was there for most of it! I'm not a crime fighter anymore, you know that Spike. Anyway..." His face turned a little more darker. "...what are you doing running after Buffy and being the Scoobies messenger?"  
  
Spike looked to the floor. "Something happened to me. You see I wanted...Why am I telling you this?"  
  
"'Cos I'm bored and you wouldn't dare go back to Sunnydale and face Buffy without me!"  
  
"Fair point. Well I was sick of being the whipped guy, I mean that's Xanders job. So I went to Africa, heard rumours there was a guy that could take out the chip. I had once been this Vampire that everyone feared. I had two Slayers to my name and was working on my third...Buffy. Do you have any alcohol mate?" Angel didn't say a word, he simply stood up and brought one of Doyles whiskey bottles and poured two glasses. Spike downed his in one and poured himself another one. "Now I am just a weak pathetic thing, demons laugh at me when they see me in the street, no one has an respect for me anymore. I got so sick of it, you know what I mean." Angel simply nodded. Spike took another glass. "So I see this mojo man in Africa and he puts me through all these tests, like this huge fire demon thing with huge..." Spike spread out his hands. "...fists which are on fire. Well you know me, never a Vampire to pass up a fight and naturally I win." Another drink. "So I'm standing there waiting for him to open up my head and me the Big Bad again and instead he does this chant thing and BANG, I have a soul."  
  
Angel chose this moment to spit out his drink spraying it everywhere. "*You* have a *soul*? There can only be one souled Vampire, the scrolls say so."  
  
"Don't get so defensive mate. That's why I'm here. The Watcher came back, he had some prophecy with him about Shansu....what ever that is." Angel immediately took attention. "It's about the angelic soul. We thought it meant something pure like Little Bit but then Watcher realised that you used to get call the 'demon with Angelic face' but we found out that Shansu means death. Sorry Peaches...your gonna die. Buffy wants you in SSSSunnydale where sssshe can protect you but I don't sssso there." Spike handed Angel a piece of paper. "This is when it is going to happen."  
  
Angel all but grabbed the paper from Spike who tried to stagger to the door. Angel looked at the now empty whiskey bottle and sighed. "Spike you better stay here for tonight." Angel stated as he grabbed Spike, to stop him falling on his butt.  
  
Spike turned around and hugged him. "I'm sorry that you're gonna die Peaches...I really am but you said it yourself. 'There can only be one.'" Spike hiccuped. "I think I've been watching Highlander too much."  
  
Angel helped Spike onto the couch and drew the blanket over him. He smiled down in pity at his Childe and cringed. He looked at the piece of paper in his hand and read it to himself.  
  
What Was One Must Now Come Three  
To Let The World A Human See  
The Death Of One Brings Life Another  
Let The Father Join The Mother  
Was Never Choice A Simple Thing  
Bring Hearts Together, And Let Them Sing  
And Never Was Life A Burden Bare  
For Ticking Clock Could Never Scare  
  
Angel stared at the riddle. He knew that this time it was a true prophecy, it was only the Powers could talk in such irrelevant rhyme. Angel looked at the clock, it read 03:30 and he knew he could last for two days without sleeping. There was only one person he knew in Chicago that could help him. Lindsey! Lindsey had joined another law firm, this time a normal, run-of-the-mill one, called Matherson and Partner. It seemed to Angel that Lindsey was trying to go straight but Angel knew that once a demon lawyer, always a demon lawyer. Angel roughly shock the drunken Spike and holed him to his feet.  
  
"Come on Spike, you and me are going to have a little fun with a lawyer."  
  
"I told you before Angel, I don't do kinky sex games anymore. Spike was still half asleep than more confused.   
  
"Nope we're going to see a man about a prophecy."  
  
So that is where Angel decided to go at 4am.  
  
~~*~~  
  
Lindsey awoke to a firm hand being clamped over his mouth to stop him screaming. His room was still dark as his good hand scraped around trying to find the light switch. Instead someone else turned it on and Lindsey wished he hadn't. For 5 years he hadn't seen 7ft moose-like creatures covered in slime or an inhuman face, but now there was one staring right back at him. Lindsey recognised the face immediately and almost choked in fear.  
  
"Angel?" Lindsey muffled.  
  
"Surprise Lindsey!" Angel muttered dryly.  
  
"Yay Surprise!" Spike shouted more jovialy and jumped up and down on the spot.  
  
Angel looked at Spike, rolling his eyes, then looked back to Lindsey. "Now, I know how hard it is to give up the old ways. I wanna know about Cordelia. I need to know where they are, what Cordelia is doing and how...how my...son is."  
  
"Angel, stalking is your thing. I don't know anything about your Seer..."  
  
"Ex Seer." Angel interrupted.  
  
"No Angel, she is still a Seer. That is why there is Chase Investigations." Lindsey studied Angels face. "You really don't know anything about her anymore do you. Jesus Angel, how did you let a one like that go? If, and IF, I help you, what do I get out of this?" Lindsey smirked.  
  
"You get to keep your good hand and various other parts of your body. Now I want to know everything about her and Conner."  
  
Lindsey got out of bed and wandered into the living room. He sat down on the couch and motioned for Angel and Spike to do the same.  
  
"Well Cordelia Chase lives in New York now, she has her own business called Chase Investigations which is exactly the same as Angel Investigations was. Trust me there was a Wolfram and Hart in New York but there isn't anymore she is that good. She gets visions and is one of the best fighters I have ever had the pleasure of watching, very agile and...flexible." Angel growled and Lindsey shrunk back. "She runs the business with a partner. Quite a money spinner."  
  
"Ha...Angels ex-girlfriend makes more money than Angel... me opinion of you just went right down." Spike made a falling rocket sound.  
  
Angels stolic face didn't move and instead he turned his arm and pushed Spike in the face. Spike fell back like a dead weight half way through his rocket impression.  
  
"She's still single and has a house in the Hampton that only her partner is meant to know about. She has allot of enemies Angel, but then again she has *your* son! Talking of your brat. He has excelled in speed, strength and is a tad sensitive to the sunshine, guess he does take after his father after all. He's quite bright, goes to one the best schools in New York. Cordelia never did take up the acting after you left, mind you Angelus was right...she isn't very good is she. She's been in and out of hospital over the last 5 years Angel, too many close shaves meant she took a back seat and let other people take up the slack. Still fights though and she was wanted for murder at one point."  
  
Angel took a double take. "What? Who did she kill?"  
  
"Lilah Morgen. They tried to kidnap Conner from Kindergarten and she took her revenge. For the first time ever Lilah Morgen lost the head." Lindsey chuckled at his own joke.  
  
"Was she cleared?"  
  
Lindsey stopped chuckling. "Didn't even make it to court. They found a revenge attacker who was killing lawyers in LA and blamed him for Lilahs murder. Do you remember the case?"  
  
"Yeah I seen the trial on CNN. Have you got an address?"  
  
Lindsey reached to a book beside the couch and drew out a small card. "Better than that. I have a business card. Address, phone and fax number. They're happy together Angel. Now, I've told you what you wanted to, take your drunken lover home and leave me alone."  
  
"Hey we're not lovers anymore!" Spike huffed. "God I'm starting to sober up. Come on Angel, we'll go drink to your death...again. Do you know, your worse than Buffy - nope that honour goes to Darla. I think they are having a little competition for how many deaths per 100 years. A couple whiskeys, couple of wenches. Come on Angel, let Angelus have a littl..." Spike was stopped by another swift punch to the face.  
  
~~*~~  
  
The darkness was overwhelming but that was the idea as Angel sat, away from the outside world and secluded to himself. The business card flipped over in his hands, unsure of which direction to take. It had been a while since Angel had sat in the dark, brooding about the past. A past that was kept in a box at the back of his mind, only opened on occasions when he felt life had become too good and he needed to be grounded. The business card fluttered to the floor as Angel lost his concentration, her face filling her head. He had tried not to imagine her face for each time he did his heart would twist, strangling his non-existent breath, tears would prick his eyes and the black hole would open in his mind. It would think of little else. He had given away the two things he loved more in the world but he took a little comfort to know that they had each other. Angel had spent the last 5 years and 6 days thinking about the life Conner has, had or could of had. From what Lindsey had told him, it seemed like Cordelia and Conner were fine...his brow creased as he worried about what Lindsey had said about Cordeila in hospital.   
  
'But then he did say that Conner was happy with Cordelia.' He thought to himself. The business card fluttered to the bin. He began to walk away, to get ready for work but a voice, not Angelus, egged at him to turn back.  
  
''No, they're happy! I won't disturb that.'' Angel argued  
  
'He's your son, you should be there with him. *You're* his blood father. At least phone her.' The voice fought back.   
  
Angel swivelled on his heel and turn back to the bin as if it had suddenly combusted. He ripped the business card from the trash and rolled it over in his hands again.  
  
  
*And maybe I'll find out  
A way to make it back someday  
To watch you, to guide you  
Through the darkest of your days  
Then I hope there's someone there  
Who can bring you back to me*  
  
  
The phone shook in his hands as he dialled the numbers slowly. The New York number was foreign to him, long and giving him more time to slam the cradle back down. His nerve held and he managed to get through to the number. A cheery, overloaded voice filled his ears as he tore it away from his sensitive hearing.   
  
"I was looking for Miss Cordelia Chase." Angel asked shakily.  
  
"I am afraid Miss Chase is on holiday." He heard a rustling in the background. "Nobody has an appointment for the next two weeks. You can talk to our Vice President, Mr Gunn if it is urgent. What's the name please?"  
  
Angels eyes became as wide as saucers. "Gunn? Charles Gunn." He quickly regained his composure. " Yes, I would like to speak to Mr Gunn please. My name is...O'Conner."  
  
He heard a click then several beeps before someone on the other line picked up. "Yep. This is Charles Gunn." Angel sighed; it had been so long since he had heard that voice. He was scared that he never would hear it again but now he was terrified that the voice would reject him. "Mr. O'Conner?"  
  
"Gunn? Gunn, it's Angel." He waited for the monotone tone that would tell him Gunn hung up but instead he heard met with silence. "Hello Gunn, are you still there?"  
  
"Yeah man. Sorry, just...it's been so long man. What's wrong? A ghost the ghostbuster can't bust?"  
  
Angel chuckled. For the first time in 5 years a small smile spread on his face. "No Gunn, I was looking for Cordelia."  
  
He was met by more silence. "Dog, I don't think that's a good idea. She's different now, got Conner to think of."  
  
"Please Gunn, I need to see her." Angel pleaded. Tears pricked his eyes again. "Conner's my son. I...I need to see him."  
  
"I don't know. Are you still...you know...got the demon problem?" Gunn asked 'tactfully'.  
  
"Yeah, but it's about to change. That's why I need to see Cordelia."  
  
"I'll call her, Conner and her are on holiday and she ain't due back for a while. If she says yes, I'll give her your number but this time I'm staying out of it all. When you to are near each other, building explode." Gunn went silent again. "You know she never got over what you did; leaving like that."  
  
"I know Gunn. Give her my number and I'll wait for her." Angel spieled off the Chicago number. He was about to put the phone down when something caught his attention. "Gunn, tell her I never go over her either."  
  
With that the phone was back in it's cradle and the object that caught his attention was in his hands. The wooden frame faded and wore where it had been handled regularly. The same picture once stood proudly on his desk, where he could see it form every angle of the room. Cordelia stood proudly in the sun, Conner in her arms, wrapped in his baby blue blanket. Angel took the photo, hiding in the shadows...as he always did.  
  
~~*~~  
  
His car had picked Angel up in the shadows of his house and took him to the office building. He had began pacing a hole in the floor so decided he would be more use at work. It seemed forever that he sat by the phone but only 30 minutes has passed. The shrill ring surprised his and he let it ring. After the seventh ring he couldn't ignore it anymore, so he tentatively picked it up.  
  
Lyrics by:  
1) Mrs. Potters Lullaby - Counting Crows  
2) Where Ever You Will Go - The Calling 


	3. Sandy Feet

Chapter 3 - Sandy Feet  
  
A small child's laughter filled the air as Conner ran in circles dancing with the wind. Cordelia looked on and smiled, her camera clicking every now and again as Conner sat down to finish his sand castle. Anyone who knew Cordelia or who had seen their summer house in the Hampton's or the penthouse apartment in New York then they would know how attached Cordelia was to her camera. Few knew the real reason why. Having succumbed to the fact she couldn't draw in her A.I days so instead she found another way to put her memories on paper.  
  
"Mommy, come help me." Conner grabbed Cordelia's hand. "You can help me build the river around the castle."  
  
Cordelia stared at her son. He looked so like his father with his brown hair and dark eyes. Conner could huff like his father too. She loved him at this age when he was big enough to tell her what he knew about the world yet still small enough to come to his mommy and curl up in her arms every night. She gave Conner everything Angel would want, took him places that he would never forget, went to the beach every Sunday and it still held that magic. Conner looked up at her with pleading eyes, puppy-dog expression that he knew only he could get away with.  
  
"Please mommy. I'll be your best friend forever and ever."  
  
Cordelia smiled sown at Conner and ruffled his hair. "You're just like your father, the only way he could ever get around me was to give me those puppy dog eyes." Cordelia sat down in the sand beside her son.  
  
  
*Softly tread the sand below your feet now  
Two worlds, one family  
Trust your heart  
Let fate decide  
To guide these lives we see*  
  
  
"Mommy, tell me about when you and daddy first met."  
  
Cordelia had to laugh a little. Most kids would love to hear about the 'cool' demon stories that Conner's mommy had or about the Vampires they had slayed. Conner saw that kind of stuff everyday, had heard almost every story but his favourite one was about how Cordelia had met Angel at the directors party. His favourite part being when Angel scooped Cordelia into his arms and jumped from the balcony. Cordelia could here Conner hitch his breath every time she reached the part where she was in Angels arms until she mentioned that they landed safely at the bottom. The story lasted about an hour and by the time Cordelia had finished a cool wind was blowing in from the sea and she could feel the goose pimples beginning to grow on her bare arms.  
  
"Come on honey, time to go home. How about I make cheesy pasta from tea." Conner jumped up and down in front of her. "I guess I have Giles to thank for finally find something nutritious that you like to eat instead of Ben and Jerry's and waffles...which make a great breakfast but not a good dinner. Something else you got to learn."  
  
"But mommy, they're good." Conner whined as they finished packing up and watched the tide wash away today's sand castle.  
  
"Not good for your teeth though!" Cordelia muttered as she pulled the jumper over Conner's head.  
  
LATER  
  
Cordelia loved the Hampton's house. It was her own private haven. A haven away from Chase Investigation, away from the hustle and bustle of New York City and just for a short time she could be herself. Unlike her New York apartment, the Hampton's house was full of pictures from what she called 'the old days.' No one else had even been up here, no one could see the pictures that Angel had taken or the pictures of Cordelia, Angel and Conner together looking like a real family. That was part of the reason why she loved to bring Conner up her; she never wanted him to forget his dad. Cordelia still kept his picture by her bed, one beside Conner's bed. Cordelia bought the Hampton's house because when she saw it she knew it would have been the type of house Angel would have brought to bring Conner up. She often thought of Angel: was he human, did he think of her, was he still alive...well as alive as a dead person can be. She had thought about trying to find him, try and make him take Conner back but she realised that Angel couldn't offer Conner a life he wanted for his only son. The dreams she had of them together had faded now and she had Conner to concentrate on.  
  
  
*No words describe a mother's tears  
No words can heal a broken heart  
A dream is gone, but where there's hope*  
  
  
She had picked herself up when Angel left, did as he told her and sold the old Hyperion to developers who turned it into 17 flats. It was heart-breaking for Cordelia to sell her home but the memories had to go. She had moved to New York. New York seemed the total opposite from LA - it wasn't fake, there was a culture, Art museums and a place to bring up Conner - and it was somewhere far enough away from LA. She had been all ready for a normal life but on her second day in LA, she had a vision. It was the worse kind of vision she could even ask for. It was of someone close, someone she loved and had once loved her...Gunn. When she found him, he was living on the streets, reckless and tormented. Together they pulled each other through the worse two year either of them ever seen. Chase Investigations sprung up and grew. It was now a business big enough to help those in need and they could take on every came their way. It was easy to keep it a slightly secretive business....people were still very much naive to the things that went bump in the night. With the money, Gunn bought himself his first car without selling his soul and a house. He still hadn't forgot about Fred and refused point blank to try and find somebody else. Gunn was as stubborn as Cordelia. Any guy that came near Cordelia was kindly told by her that she had a child. It amused her to see the men hot-tail away from her. She was happy with her life but not content. Her muse was disturbed by the shrill ringing of the phone, which was an unusual event. She gingerly picked it up as if it might explode.  
  
"Hello, Cordeila Chase." She hesitated.  
  
"Barbie...thank god your in. We've had a phone call."  
  
Cordelia was alarmed at Gunn's tone and it would have to been important if he was calling her up here. "Gunn, what has happened?" She illterated like speaking to a two year old.  
  
"We had a phone call." A hitch in his breath. "It was from Angel."  
  
Cordelia dropped the phone in surprise. "What did he say?"  
  
"He said he was looking for you. He got real angry with me when I wouldn't tell him where you were. He said to give him a phone on a number in New York. Said he wants to see Conner."  
  
"Right fax the number over and I'll see what I want to do. I can't stop him from seeing his child. Conner isn't mine." Cordelia tried not to cry, she hadn't since Angel had left and would be damned if she was now.  
  
"Cordelia, you are Conner's legal parent. We checked this out with the lawyers OK. Don't worry and think about making a call. The number is coming through now."  
  
The fax machine beside her whirled into life and the paper came out with a number scrawled across it in huge black pen. "I got it Gunn. I'll give it a call."  
  
"Good luck Barbie." Gunn hung up.  
  
Cordelia sat herself down in the telephone chair beside her and looked at the number. She took a deep breath and dialled the number slowly, resisting the urge to slam it back into it's cradle.  
  
"Hello, Angel O'Patrick's office. Helen speaking."  
  
Cordelia's eyes opened wide. "This is Cordelia Chase of Chase Investigations, I was asked to call Mr O'Patrick back."  
  
"Putting you through."  
  
Cordelia heard a series of beeps before a voice she had long forgotten filled her ears. It was like whispers on the wind, haunting her and throwing her into overload. "This is Miss Chase of Chase Investigations." She said, her business like manner hiding her shaky voice...she could do this. But her resolve was crumbled by one word.  
  
"Cordeila?" A pause. "Cordelia is that you?"  
  
"Yes Angel, It's me."  
  
Look out for the last chapter please...just what will happen to our intrepid friends and can Gunn and Lindsey stay in the story? Stay tuned to find out.  
  
  
Words are from;  
1) Two Worlds by Phil Collins  
2) You'll Be In My Heart by Phil Collins  
  
Both are from the Tarzan Movie which soundtrack rocks.... 


	4. Hold On To The wings OfThe Eagles

So I Hold on to the Wings of the Eagles  
  
Angel rarely slept on flights. It was too dangerous to. Luckily his flight hadn't been delayed and he would be arriving in New York 20 minutes after the sun was reported to sleep. He knew from experience that the weather-board was hardly ever wrong. The airport was full of people. He hated it. His job allowed him to work at home and on the rare times he had to go into the office there were only three people. He needed all the space he could get for the hundreds of tomes that littered the bookshelves in his private sanctuary; it was the same at home. He didn't like to call it home because it never was home…not anymore. At last he spotted Gunn. He stood there, holding a white board sign with O'Conner written it. His face lit up as he spotted Angel hunched figure heading towards him.  
  
"Angel, my man. What took ya so long?" Gunn wrapped his arms around a stiff Angel in a bear hug. Angel started to feel as if he was coming home and pounded Gunn hard on the back in return. Gunn released Angel to find a huge smile plastered on his face. "So you still smile then my man?"  
  
"Only when around friends." Angel looked guiltily to the ground. "Gunn. About Fred. I'm sorry I couldn't save her."  
  
Gunn clasped Angel shoulder. "Look Angel, I have forgiven you for that. Even if I was angry, 5 years is a long time to forgive a person…Vampire."  
  
They headed out to the car that was waiting for them. The chauffeur opened the door for them and they got in to drive to Gunn's apartment.  
  
"I hope you don't mind staying with me. It was easier to sun-proof than a hotel room. So how did you get over the whole passport thing or do I even want to know?" Angel shook his head. "Well Cordy is still up in the Hamptons with Conner but she said that you can go up there. Consider yourself luck, I've only been up there once when she first bought it but we understand that it is her private sanctuary for Conner."  
  
"How long has she been up there for?" Angel asked, curious as to why Cordelia would hide away like that.  
  
"Just over 2 months now. I mean she doesn't have to worry about Conner's School 'cos he is on holidays but Baby Blue is so smart that he could out do me in a pop quiz." Gunn noted Angel's confusion at the name he used for Conner. "Oh, I call him Baby Blue because his lips go blue when he get angry or frustrated. Cordy keeps telling me off, 'he's not a baby anymore…just my baby.'" Gunn mimicked Cordelia's tone.  
  
Angel felt so left out. He kicked himself. He had given up his son, given up this life he could have had with him. Gunn looked so much more mature and his face had lost the hardness it used to contain before Fred came into his life. Gunn also looked like a man who had defied all odds and became something when he was given nothing to start from.  
  
They arrived at the apartment building on the West side of Central Park. Angel was impressed to say the least. Gunn's apartment was covered in back-out drapes at the windows that would have usually given way to magnificent views of the city park. The apartment was furnished in style, minimalist with enough character and private accessories to make it homely. The living room was open styled with a beautifully fitted kitchen to the left. He could see the pile of cookbooks on one of the shelves and a set of complicated utensils at the bottom of it. Gunn wordlessly showed him through to the guest-room that was roughly the same size as Angel master bedroom in Chicago. It was in warm creams and ivories with dark purple bed coverings and Angel spied an en-suite bathroom off through a door that looked like a closet.  
  
"So what do you think? I decorated myself. Me, Cordy and Conner spent a mad few weeks in here. I think that more paint went on us than on the walls. Well there are fresh towels in the bathroom and anything else just let me. I am going to order take-out. Want any?"  
  
"Um…Lemon Chicken would be great. I'm just gonna…"  
  
Gunn left Angel to it and went to the living-room to phone the Chinese restaurant. He noticed the picture of Cordelia and Conner that had been taken 2 years before. Conner was dressed in a schoolboy uniform and proudly holding up the graduation certificate that he proudly received early. Cordelia was glowing and Gunn remembered that they had gone to Conner's favorite ice-cream parlour, Mr Boni's, and let him eat what ever he wanted. Conner learned the important lesson of not over-indulging. He sensed Angel behind him.  
  
"Yo man I was just gonna order the take-away. Here look at this…" Gunn handed him the picture. "This was taken when Conner graduated from pre-school. He was 2 years early. I don't know where he gets the brains. It certainly isn't from you, you walked away from the best thing you ever had…including the Slayer of your life." Gunn realised how angry he was getting and back down. "Sorry. When I see how much she hurts herself by denying everything. She never once tried to find you. Believe me she wanted to but then she realised that it might put Conner in danger. We didn't know where you were, if you were human yet or even if you were still alive. Cordy has had 5 years of pure worry but she plowed everything into Conner."  
  
"I can imagine Gunn. The last thing I am here to do is to split up Cordelia's family. Does Conner even know about me?"  
  
Gunn laughed briefly. "Of course he does. He knows about the Vampire thing, the father thing, what you look like, he knows what happened and he knows everything about the business. Cordelia hasn't kept anything from him, except about Darla. He believes that Cordelia is his mother but it caused confusion when he had an operation and the blood types didn't match. Luckily we had obtained fake birth certificates for him. Conner has a hole in his heart, which tore when he was 18 months old. Cordy wouldn't leave the hospital for the month they kept him in there. She looked worse than Conner when they left but Conner recovered fully and now he leads a normal life. He can even beat me at Soccer."  
  
The catch-up between the two fighters was only interrupted by the take-away arriving and the odd scrape of mental on a plate. Angel retired to bed early and Gunn stayed up, as always, to watch the basketball reruns.   
  
Angel didn't sleep much that night, thoughts of what might be waiting for him. Feelings were now allowed to run free through his head: Relief at Gunn's acceptance of him after everything that had happened. There were butterflies in his stomach, a disturbing emotion for a Vampire, over what would happen when he met Cordelia again. A person that was once his family, his friend and now mother to his child. The Cordelia that he had fell in love with all those years ago and never had the guts to tell her. Angel got out of bed to concentrated his energies on calming his mind. It was no longer essential since the Powers That Be sealed his soul but more out of habit. Tai Chi was something that he had started with Buffy, an automatic exercise so they could both control their dark sides. With Cordelia it was different. The exercises showed their closeness and their ability to move as one. Angel, for the first time, had found Tai Chi...FUN. Cordelia would silently reach over and tickle him just as his concentration was at it's peak. They would fall to the floor laughing and tickling back until they realised how it would look and Cordelia would withdraw away. The number of times that Angel had wanted to call her back, pull her into his arms again were too many to count and he wasn't going to make that same mistake again.   
  
NEXT DAY  
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Angel climbed into the shaded limousine that Gunn had rented for the day, and was now on his way to the Hamptons. Angel tried to imagine how Conner looked now but all he came up with was a mini version of Cordelia, which he knew wouldn't be possible. He watched as the city skyscrapers and yellow cabs gave way to the suburbs and then to, what the Americans would call, 'The Country'. This wasn't country to him but very few Americans had grown up in Gallway. Soon he could see the coast through the tinted windows. They made it look stormy and gloomy but his senses were telling him that the sun was blazing outside. In the Hamptons all the houses were different and made to look Victorian or Edwardian or a mish-mash of Gothic verses Neo-classical. Angel hated them. The limousine took a sharp turn and started towards a unbuilt part of the 'island'. The beaches were unoccupied, each one immaculately kept.   
  
Up ahead he could see a little boy playing on the porch at the top of the beach with a giant beach ball. Angel smiled as the brown haired little boy and watched as a tall, brown-haired woman came out and bent down to talk to him, wiping his face with a cloth. A breath, long unneeded, caught in his throat as Cordelia looked up and stared at the approaching Limousine. She looked the same apart from her face. She had grown older but her face still remained beautiful and graceful. Cordeila stayed at the little boys' height and pointed out to the car, the boy's gaze following hers. They were one in the same, their near-raven hair matching, the look in their eyes, and the smiles on their faces as wide as possible. Conner stuck close to Cordelia as if to protect her in some way and Cordelia kept her arm around her sons waist as the car pulled up into the shadows at the front of the house. The beach ball was all but forgotten as the two made their way slowly through the house. Angel was already waiting in the shaded conservatory, his trademark black coat over his shoulders. He looked first at Cordelia and then at Conner's, who's hand was tightly gripping Cordelia's. She bent down to Conner's level again.  
  
"Conner, honey. This is Angel. He's your dad."  
  
Conner turned and looked at his Mommy and drew close to her ear. "I thought he would be bigger." They both sniggered before Conner turned to Angel. "Hello Angel. My name is Conner and this is my mommy, Cordy. Nice to meet you." Conner smiled sweetly at Angel.  
  
Cordelia watched as Angel could do little but stare at Conner all dewy eyed. "Angel, why don't you come in? We were just going to have some lunch." Cordelia looked down at Conner. "No, you can't have Ben and Jerry's." She looked up at Angel. "He has his fathers penance for Ice Cream." She caught Angels quizzical look. "Phfft. You didn't honestly think that you could get away with sneaking Chunky Monkey when you were meant to be trying my cooking."  
  
Angel was touched she had remembered. He felt Conner tugging at his trousers. "Go 'grrr' for me. Ple---ase." Conner pleaded.  
  
Angel looked at Cordelia for help land she just nodded. Angel slipped on his game face and waited for Conner to run away. Instead Conner giggled in that childish way kids do and manage to shout, 'You look funny.' in between the laughs before running into the kitchen.  
  
Angel followed them into a huge expanse of a kitchen, beautifully decorated in lime-washed pine. Cordelia had already put a frying pan on the range and was beating eggs in a glass jug. Conner had run up to the counter and was playing with the salt and pepper shakers on the counter. He added in salt and pepper then some dill from the vase of herbs.  
  
"Why didn't he run away from my game face?" Angel asked, till confused.  
  
"Angel, he knows what Vampires are. I mean we have a business in Vampires and not to mention...Uncle Spikey who's party trick is going 'grr'. It's normal for him." Angel watched as Cordelia swallowed 2 pills with a glass of water. "A Zuflux demon spike. Right through my spleen so it's penicillin for me now. Thank goodness for Alex Flemming eh." Cordelia joked.  
  
"Spike said he hadn't seen you in years." Cordelia shrugged. "I had no idea. Lindsey..."  
  
Cordelia laughed out loud. "Lindsey. Don't tell me he told you where I am. I thought he gave up on me years ago."  
  
"He told me that you had been hospital a few times and gave up the combat for Conner's sake. But I never thought it was that bad!"  
  
"Angel, things have always been that bad but we cope. We coped when Conner was ill, we coped when I was ill and we keep on coping. You have no idea how much we grew up when you left and we moved on. Gunn has been through hell and back again and he has the scars to prove it. Angel stop thinking this is your fault. I mean I wouldn't have Conner, Gunn wouldn't have his BMW. I guess you wanna know all about Conner." She took the omelet off the range and placed it on a plate for Conner. He was sitting at the table, ready to eat. "Now be careful Baby, it's hot."  
  
Cordelia took Angel through to the living-room and sat him down on a couch. He looked over to the piano that sat in the corner. All the pictures glinted in the afternoon sunshine, every pose imaginable and mostly of Conner. There were some of Gunn and other people he didn't know but then again he didn't know Cordy's new life. There were pictures of Conner when he was a baby, naked as the day he was born, running away from the camera. When he was a toddler, he was finger-painting and playing in the sea. The graduation photo he had seen in Gunn's apartment and a portrait of Conner, Gunn and Cordelia hung proudly on the wall. They seemed like a real family.  
  
"Well after you left, I sold the Hyperion to a development company. It hurt but it had to be done. We moved to New York, a whole coast away, and I had a vision of Gunn in trouble. We saved each other that night, and decided that the people in the visions still needed help. Well I was always one for helping PAYING clients wasn't I and Gunn helped me set up Chase Investigations. It took off in a big way and we now run it as a run-of-the-mill detective agency but with it's dark side. We had Wolfram and Hart problems here but I fixed if for once and for all. Test revealed that my baby had a hole in his heart and when he was 18 months old, it tore. I have never been so scared in all my life. I really thought I was going to lose him that time. We, me and Gunn, Christened him right there and then. After he came out of hospital we had to be so careful with him, he was like a china doll. Then he went to a good pre-school. He's really smart Angel. Can do the 8 and 9 multiples and everything. Of course, every time I look at him, I see you. He broods and huffs like you do...even has those damn puppy dog eyes where he knows he can get away with anything. He like Ben and Jerry's for breakfast and he likes waffles for lunch and Giles special cheesy pasta for tea. Anything else you wanna know?"  
  
"I wanna know 5 years worth in a few hours Cordelia but I know it can't be done. That's not your fault. I should never have left him, I should never have left you." Angel paused and swallowed. It was now or never.   
  
  
*Now that the world isn't ending  
It's love that I'm sending to you  
It isn't the love of a hero  
And that's why I fear it won't do*  
  
  
"Cordelia I love you. I loved from the day of the never ending dreams...even before that. I loved everything about you; your tact...or lack of." Cordelia frowned. "I loved how you filled the training room with plastic flowers so that they wouldn't die as well. I watched how you tried not to crumple when you found out about me and Darla and then helped even though you hated us both. You meant so much to me. I was gonna tell you, you know when Groo showed up but then I lost you to him...or did I ever have you?"  
  
Cordelia looked away. All the feelings and emotions from years past came rushing over her, overwhelming her from head to toe. She saw the signs all over again. Only now she had to decide whether she would walk away again or whether she would stand up and face her feelings, not something she commonly did! She didn't have to decide there and then as Conner tugged at her trousers.  
  
"Mommy can Angel play with my train track?  
  
Cordelai looked at Angel and raised her patented eyebrow. "It involves using your people skills and talking like a child."  
  
"Sure, I think I could do that for Conner."  
  
Cordelia watched in a mixture of disbelief and wonder as Angel climbed down to the fool and played with his son, his blck dust now over the couch. He had finally took of his black duster again: That meant he was staying.  
  
Lyrics - 'Hero' by Chad Kroeger (feat. Josey Scott)  
  
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Someone asked about Wesley...Author says..."Wait and see!!! I have more twists and turns than a twister and I cause twice as much devastation!" 


End file.
